Great forward here, this is how things should work!

Maybe she was at the L.A. Weight Loss clinic first…

I hope they get a dictionary to go with that DRAEM or DERAM of theirs.

 

Who the heck was in charge of their advertising?

I would like to have seen him do this..

What?

Those are lighthouses?

I’m not eating at this place…

Now that might work!

This one is just great….let’s see, jackhammers or cigarettes.
Which one is better for my unborn child?

 
DVD rewinder, what were they thinking?

I think this is why Winn Dixie went into bankruptcy.

Yep, and that bus must run on solar energy huh?

"Life’s tough……It’s even tougher if you’re stupid."
- John Wayne

By Lester Haines from The Register

An Oz woman suspected of having caused a 33-year-old man to prang his ute has strenuously denied she was administering him oral pleasure at the time of the crash.

According to the Northern Territory News, police believe "amorous activities" were behind the crash last week in Humpty Doo*, in which the driver of a Toyota Hilux was "distracted by the female passenger and veered into a concrete drain on the opposite side of the road".

Police Duty Superintendent John Emeny said: "It is believed that the driver and his passenger were engaged in amorous activities at the time of the accident. Whilst there may be a humorous element to this incident there is also a very serious one and that is the devastating consequences that can result from inattentive driving."

The vehicle was "extensively damaged", and the owner charged with an impressive roster of "drink driving, driving without due care and unlicensed driving".

A couple of days later, though, the alleged todger-sucker insisted that the injury across her chest caused by her seat belt proved she had not been bent double at the moment of impact.

Allyson White, in a truly magnificent outburst, told the Northern Territory News: "I was not ****ing his **** – and it’s pretty obvious that wasn’t the case … you only have to look at the mark on my chest. Clearly I had my seat belt on, so it’s impossible I’d be leaning over ****ing his ***** unless he is hung like a donkey or I’ve got a ******* rubber neck."

She continued: "If it was true I’d just cop it sweet and think ‘how embarrassing, I got caught ****ing someone’s ****’. But it is not true and that’s what is p***ing me off. It didn’t happen like that at all – he was just going too fast."

She did, though, admit: "It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my ‘girls’ were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something … but $5 is a bit cheap for a **** job."

Readers can see White’s injury, her impressive "girls" and her evident penchant for beer and cigarettes right right here.

Only in The Territory

Shaggin’ wagon: Couple caught ‘at it’ in police car

Fill ‘er up: Couple filmed having sex at servo

Thin crust: 4-year-old ‘held ransom’ for pizza

Video: Ssslippery surprise in the S-bend

Croc v Shark: Jaw-dropping result

Anyway, I digress. Some brainiacs in a State Government in Malaysia have come up with a brilliant new plan to get students and teachers to mingle. Let’s make them share toilets!

“When students share the toilets with the teacher, they (students) will believe that they are on par with academicians and this automatically invokes a sense of being important to an organisation, which, in this case, is the school,” he said here yesterday.

The above quote, from the man with the longest job title in the world, State Education, Higher Learning, Human Resource, Science and Technology Committee chairman Ahmad Razif Abd Rahman (imagine carrying around his business card – it must be the length of a roll of toilet paper), highlights my worst fears. The toilet is now becoming an active place for integration, socialisation and team bonding. God help us! Thanks to the Star for the info.

VIDEOGIOCO by Donato Sansone from Enrico Ascoli – Sound Design on Vimeo.

You’re looking at the fastest, highest-performing amphibious vehicle ever built. The Python jets along at 60 mph on water, and on land, goes from 0 to 60 in 4.5 seconds. Oh, and it’s actually now available for anyone to buy.

We’ve seen initial prototypes before, but this final version looks amazing. It’s likely built on a Dodge Ram base, but as you can see, the custom fiberglass body has a tail styled like a Corvette. Better yet, it actually uses an aluminum Corvette LS engine on land, too. A rear Dominator jet handles amphibious duties.

Certain to draw all kinds of attention (bikini-clad, and otherwise), WaterCar is selling the Corvette-powered, fully assembled Python for a cool $200,000. [WaterCar via Jalopnik]

It looks amazing, you can see the bullets turning and smashing into lots of different objects. Check it out.

News Without Mercy

The Onion News Network is the most popular 24-hour cable news network in America, delivering hard-hitting, up-to-the-minute reporting to more than 100 million households nationwide. Globally, the Onion’s network of branded channels and services reaches 811 countries in 152 languages.

New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens ‘It’s Gay To Smoke’

And how normal Americans can not relate to the Obamas

Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans

"I am so happy to get this honour," he said after receiving a 14-inch television and a certificate amid cheers at an official ceremony packed with 500 farmers and officials. "I had no idea that the government gives prizes for this."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/bangladesh/6249099/Farmer-who-killed-83000-rats-awarded-prize.html